No time like the present

It’s spring! Birds are busy courting. Seeds are busy sprouting. After a few hours of weeding my allotment I sat down to consider my progress. Then my attention was drawn to a huge bumble bee who was buzzing around the cornflowers on the borders of my veg beds. Cornflowers are so tiny, they sit on top of delicate stems and yet the huge bumble bee managed to hang on to each stem while drinking the nectar from each tiny flower. Bobbing up and down, counterbalancing his weight against the swaying of the stem it seemed he was dancing and almost certainly defying the laws of gravity. I’m full of admiration every time I see a bumble bee fly. Such a huge body, such tiny wings. How is that even possible?

Watching bumble bees feeding is a very good way for me to be in the present, in the moment. Another good way is when I’m playing the piano. I still sight read the classical tunes I learnt as a teenager, Chopin, Beethoven, Bach. I don’t play enough. I’m usually too busy with chores of one kind or another. I worry about getting rusty and sure enough if I leave it too long I make many mistakes in pieces I’ve played my whole life. It takes a lot of concentration to read the music and play the notes and if for one second my mind strays elsewhere I make a mistake, instantly. It’s so obvious. To play well, without making mistakes, I need to make my brain concentrate on one thing only.

Mindfulness

The latest term for this is Mindfulness. Be in the moment. Here and now. It’s said to be calming, but for me it also has a different effect. It gets my creativity going. After two hours of playing the piano I wanted to sit down at the laptop and write, never mind the chores. It’s the time of the month for my blog so here we are, but this is good because I’m still struggling to get going with my next writing project. In fact my creative writing progress has been nil since my last blog. I’ve sat on my favourite beach, marvelled at the stunning beauty of the sea and the sky and been consumed with joy while watching a stunning sunset. This is the setting for my short stories about two characters who live on an enchanted island. Has my soul been refreshed? Yes. Have any new story ideas come to mind? No.

I decided to try another tactic and logged onto an online Writers Meet Up group. I know the lady who runs it, she was very helpful in the role of a writing coach when I started my novel two years ago. She started the Writers Meet Up group during lockdown and I attended a few but soon other activities began to clash and take priority. I looked back through my emails, found it was still on and logged in. There were about a dozen other writers who were asked to introduce themselves before we started the main session. Some were at the start of their writing career and some had many titles under their belt but they had all joined this session because they needed help. They were all stuck. Even the writing coach admitted to being so bound up with admin chores that she was behind with writing as well.

New Platform for Writers

One of the other writers was an American who was doing a PhD in England. She said she had joined the meeting for the same reasons as the rest of us, to get some motivation. It was hard to believe she needed help to get motivated. She self publishes Romance on Amazon, when I looked there were 16 titles.

Then she told us about Amazon’s new Beta platform for writers, currently on trial in the US. Kindle Vella is a new platform for writers to earn money writing weekly serial stories. BETA testing is only available in the US at the moment. She thought it may be rolling out to UK soon. Writers get paid by Amazon for engagement & referrals as well as a % of income from the readers. She said you keep your IP as you write the serials and then you can still publish the workas a whole on another platform.

She said she had a Degree in Marketing and this had been her career for the last ten years. She suggested that every writer build an online portfolio to include Newsletters and Twitter postings to publicise yourself and your writing. One particular tip was to always add a hashtag to every Twitter post or else why are you bothering! Only put the 2/3 strongest most relevant ones. Also,Twitter is traffic heavy – so do it across set days and pick day parts as well.

Angela Kay Austin

I liked her very much, she was positive, not embarrassed about trying to make money from writing, very knowledgable about the marketing side of things and yet here she was unafraid of asking for motivational support from fellow writers. She inspired me to get on with it.

Find Angela Kay Austin on Amazon with this link.

Find Angela Kay Austin on Kindle-Vella with this link.

Wrapping Up and Moving On

The third edit of my novel is finally complete and I’m starting that long journey of finding agents who are looking for light, sentimental, romantic summer reads to sell to publishers who are looking for the same. I remember reading that it can take about 18 months from getting a publisher interested to final publication so I’m not holding my breath. For a target publication in early summer 2024, working backwards that means I have about 8 months to find an agent and for them to get a publisher interested. Time to start on the next book then…..

What Next?

I have other ideas waiting in the wings, a collection of short stories about the sea and the shore, a children’s chapter book about a pair of characters who live on an enchanted island, and a collection of poems gathered over a lifetime. The book has taken about two and a half years in a part time fashion so I hope these new projects will have shorter production timescales and therefore not so long to have to wait for that satisfaction of knowing it’s done.

Before starting, I thought I’d look back over the different pieces of advice, hints and tips on writing I’d gathered along the way. I mentioned the importance of structure in my last blog, which seems to be at the top of the list for me to start with this time round. Coming a close second are all the articles about how to write interesting characters.

Getting the Characters Right 

Someone who’s experience and advice I value is Paul Bassett Davies, who I came to know of many years ago via the Euroscript writing courses, who says, ‘Your story may have the best plot in the world and the most exciting action imaginable but unless they’re happening to characters the audience can relate to you’re wasting your time.’

In my novel I knew all about my characters. I created each one from a variety of people I had known in a mix ’n match sort of way and as they appeared in the story I knew how they would react to any situation. The problem was I hadn’t always let that come out in my writing. Some feedback said the characters had seemed similar and that the reader would not know enough about them to anchor them in their mind as they read the book.

So, in this last edit of my novel I made a point of introducing each character to the reader the first time they appeared in the story – what they looked like, what they wore, how they walked and talked, what they liked and disliked. As the story went on I made an effort to let the reader know what each character was thinking and feeling. Next time I’ll try to do this on the first draft, might save a lot of time!

Hints, Tips & Advice

Here are some other pieces of advice I’ve found helpful, on how to create characters the reader will care about:

‘Write about who you know – and there’s nobody you know better than yourself. Everything you need to create great characters starts with your own emotional experience. Feelings are universal, and when people see their own feelings reflected in a character, that’s the first step towards getting them invested in the story. So, great stories begin with characters. And great characters begin with you. As the song says, you’ve got to search for the hero inside yourself. Why? Because the hero’s journey is YOUR journey.

‘The secret might be simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. You need to dig deep into your own humanity, and the human responses of others. Audiences need to relate to the characters you create on a human level – even if they’re not human. When the writers of Finding Nemo created a scene in which a little fish is scared, they didn’t think, “I can write this because I can imagine how a scared fish might act.” No, they thought, “I can write this because I’VE been scared!”

‘It’s all about change. How and why people change their values, attitudes and lives is at the heart of great storytelling.’

Paul Bassett Davies.

Author and Script writer

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‘When you meet someone for the first time, the first thing they say, how they look, what they’re doing makes a lasting impression. It takes a long time to get over that first impression.

‘I know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but we do! So work with that. And own it. If a character walks in carrying a live animal (that isn’t a pet), wearing a nun’s outfit or tells us about their collection of rare mouth organs, we’re going to form an impression about their interests, outlook and personality. And hopefully it will get the story started too.’

James Cary

Scriptwriter

—————

‘Ask your character questions and get him or her to answer you in their own words. Get him to talk about himself. What does he know, think, feel? How does he see himself? How does he see others? Ask the characters to talk about each other. Some characters will be better at talking about themselves than others. That’s why you need other points of view. It’s a great way to develop characters and find their personal voice as well as strengthening your own ear for dialogue.

‘Characters reveal themselves through how they look. How do they dress? How tall are they? Weight? Colouring? Eyes, nose, way of holding themselves? Do they try to look younger than they are, or older? Most importantly – how do they feel about that? This final question should be asked consistently throughout the writing process. It’s through their feelings that your characters will come to life.

‘We define ourselves through our possessions. Do you have a fast car or a rusty old bike? What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought? What possession do you love most? Least? And – as always – what do you feel about that?

‘Values go the very heart of what you believe in. It’s important to know what your character thinks is important in life. These are going to motivate everything he does. One kind of person will die to save the rain forests, while another is more concerned about avoiding going to the gym. Write down the four or five values that he holds important in life.

‘Human beings generally take the easy way if they can. The writer’s job is to make things difficult. It’s perhaps the writer’s most important job of all. What are your characters really capable of doing if pushed? Would they lie? Steal? Kill? What would be their personal limit? Under what circumstances? Fascinating, engaging characters are pushed to the very edge. For one that might be saving the planet. For another, wearing a brightly coloured dress would break all their taboos. Some will survive. Some won’t. But we’ll remember them. And we’ll care.

‘Scene by scene, a good character will try achieve their goals. But we all have different strategies and tactics. Knowing what they are for each character will bring your scenes vividly to life.’

Charles Harris

Author and Script writer

———————

And on that note here’s some succinct advice about how to write good scenes that create tension:

‘At the heart of every great scene is a dilemma……. a choice your character must make between two equally bad alternatives. Ramp up the tension by adding a ticking clock – the choice must be made now. If the scene doesn’t move the story forward or reveal anything new – cut it.’

Euroscript

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Stop Procrastinating, Keep Writing

Then, of course, there’s how to overcome the continual problem of actually getting down to it and writing, these are some things that worked for me:

Make a timetable, just like you had at school, and write in single and double periods of different activities. Look at it once or twice a day, mine says Monday: 9-11am emails; 11-1pm Writing; 1-2pm lunch; 2-4pm Writing. It’s surprisingly comforting to know what I need to do and when. I find it quite easy to look at the clock at 5 to 11am, look at the timetable, then say ok, time to make a cup of tea and at 11am on the dot, sit down and start writing.

I’ve realised that there’s nothing quite like a deadline to get me being creative and productive. I regularly seek out competitions, events and courses that require submissions by a deadline. Even if I can’t afford to enter the deadline helps motivate me to write. I even created my own monthly deadlines for writing a blog and newsletter to get in the writing habit.

I find that once I’ve sat down at my desk, putting on some instrumental music as background to my writing, at a low enough volume to be ignored, helps me concentrate and with regular use my brain associates it with writing. I find it also helps prevent other noises in the environment from distracting me as I work.

So no excuses left then. Time to get cracking on my short stories! Good luck with your writing projects. Do feel free to share your experiences in the comments section below.

Waiting for The Book Editor’s Report

I’d had some feedback from a few of my trusted readers but real life and Christmas took precedent so I’d felt the need for professional help. It was New Year’s Day and I was counting the days until I would get the Report from the Book Editor. I’d sent my manuscript off four weeks earlier. Writing Christmas cards, wrapping presents and visiting friends and family had also kept me well occupied for three weeks but here I was in the New Year, with the due date of 10th January fixed in neon lights at the front of my brain and ringed in red on my new wall calendar. Just before bed I put a large cross on 1st January. One day down, nine to go. I was in such a constant state of excitement and anxiety that I couldn’t sit still or concentrate on much at all let alone sleep.

Distraction therapy

I started transferring important dates from last year’s diary to my new one. It always seemed like a chore while on the To Do list but looking back over the birthdays, anniversaries, full moons, solar eclipses, birds spotted, vegetables planted and fruit harvested gave me pleasant memories. Four days down, six to go.

I phoned far off friends that I only spoke to once a year and heard all the news from New Zealand to Los Angeles, from Japan to Scotland. Six days down, four to go. I watched some BBC iplayer downloads that were due to expire telling myself it was a useful occupation because they were Rom Coms like my book and it was good research.

Eight days down, two to go. I settled down to watch the long awaited start of a TV series and after five minutes was shocked as a power cut caused a total black out. I looked around the room as my appliances, closed down one after the other and all the red lights went off.

I muddled my way over to the window and drew the curtains to see all the houses in my view shining brightly like an electric forest. I picked up the battery camping lamp and made my way around the flat pulling up binds and opening curtains. Yep, it seemed everyone else in the locality still had power. Luckily my phone still had some battery left as did my laptop so I found the phone number for reporting power cuts and called it in.

Some very pleasant and remarkably calm workmen from the electricity distributor arrived and worked from eight pm until 2am, finding the fault with a device that looked and sounded like a geiger counter and then digging up the car park. At midnight a generator arrived to get us through the night so I wrapped the recently stocked fridge freezer in blankets, made tea and biscuits for the workmen and went to bed.

A Lesson in Mindfulness

It took them most of the next day to fix the problem so I wrapped up and went for a walk along the river. I contemplated how many of my everyday activities were totally dependent on a supply of electricity in my all electric flat: cooking, heating, lighting, emailing friends, family and work colleagues, phoning, writing my book……

The report was due the next day but as it was coming by email I wouldn’t get it would I? The power cut released me from the tension of anticipation. I sighed with relief, got out my binoculars and watched the waders searching the exposed mudbanks for food, envying their simple life.

By the time I got home the power was back on and the workmen had left, taking their generator with them. I unwrapped the fridge freezer and turned on the kettle, delighting in my ability to boil water in seconds and made a cup of tea.

The rest of day nine was taken up by swapping stories with other residents about what they were doing when the power went off. One was in the shower, another cooking dinner, one was mid-internet call to Australia and another had just turned her microwave on to heat up some soup.

The Book Report Arrives

The next day I checked my Inbox and there it was. An email from the book editor, who sounded quite friendly. He said he’d enjoyed working on my book and commented, ‘There’s so much potential here, and just two main hurdles to get over and you’ll be away!’

I sighed with relief and downloaded his report. There was an introduction to his working methods and another comment saying the book had potential followed by, ‘There are several major areas to work on and significant work to be done to get the manuscript ready to submit to agents, but this idea really has legs.’

Hmmmm…. he’d obviously been breaking the news slowly and gently. My heart sank a little, I was already two years into this project and had seriously run out of steam.

The Problems

He revealed the first problem, ‘The primary issue you have is that you resolve tension way too easily’. I wasn’t leaving enough time in between something going wrong for the heroine and some kind friend or family member stepping to help her out. He listed a few examples and I could see his point.

The trouble was that I didn’t want my heroine to suffer too much. I set out to write a feel-good, funny story that had a happy ending but it seems that a certain amount conflict is necessary to create the tension that keeps the pages turning. So I was going to have to go through it again adding in more conflict at an earlier stage and letting the characters and the reader sweat a little until the problems were resolved.

He also pointed out that the way I dealt with telling the story from different Point of Views was confusing. He listed more examples and I could see his point. The story is written mainly from the female lead POV but every now and then I had put in a one sentence comment from the male lead POV such as “he liked her too”, “he wanted to hold her hand but didn’t”, “he knew he had to tell her but it wasn’t the right time.”

I thought they were fine, but the book editor said it’s confusing and better to write whole scenes/chapters from one character’s POV at a time. I had done this later on in the book and realised that these one sentence POV switches were really a reminder to myself of how the male lead was feeling at the time. So I have to go through it again taking these one-liners out and putting in new scenes from the male lead POV.

I realised the ‘Two main hurdles to get over’ translated to a complete edit from start to finish. I knew from previous edits that this amounted to three or four months work. My heart sank.

The Follow Up Call

To accompany the report a thirty minute follow up phone call had been scheduled with the book editor. I spent two days going through the manuscript and his comments that he’d added as he read it. I pulled out the ones I wanted to talk about, there were thirty, one per minute…. Hmmm….. I sent him an email to warn him and to give him permission to cut me off when my time was up. As it turned out he was very accommodating and we chatted for ninety minutes covering all thirty points as well as the two main hurdles.

The unexpected thing was that I enjoyed the phone call so much. It was exciting to discuss these things with another writer. It was fun and something I hadn’t done before. I felt inspired, motivated, full of energy and at the end of the call I was raring to go. The thought of yet another edit wasn’t so daunting and I knew that my book would be the better for it.

Helpful Guidelines

In his Report the Editor made several references to a book by Billy Mernit called Writing the Romantic Comedy. I’ve seen this mentioned in many online articles and although the blurb promises screenwriting secrets they can be just as useful for novels. These are the main headings for structure:

ACT 1

1 The Chemical Equation: Setup. A scene or sequence that identifies the exterior and /or interior conflict implied in the protagonist’s and/or the antagonist’s current status quo.

2 Cute Meet: The Catalyst. The inciting incident that brings them together and preferably into conflict, often in an amusing way, which sets the tone for the action to come.

3 A Sexy Complication: Turning Point. A new development that raises story stakes and clearly defines the main characters’ goals – most successful when it sets them at cross-purposes.

ACT 2

4 The Hook: Midpoint. A situation that irrevocably binds them together, often stirring sexual tensions and that has further implications for the outcome of the relationship.

5 Swivel: Second Turning Point. Stakes reach their highest point as the romantic relationship’s importance jeopardises the protagonists’ chance to succeed at their stated goals and so the goals shift.

ACT 3

6 The Dark Moment: Crisis Climax. The consequences of this is some level of disaster and humiliation where private motivations are revealed and the relationship is seemingly lost forever.

7 Joyful Defeat: Resolution. A reconciliation that reaffirms the importance of the relationship, usually a happy ending that implies marriage or a serious commitment, often at the cost of some personal sacrifice to the protagonists.

And Finally – I’ve Sent My Book To My Trusted Readers

Two years after first putting pen to paper and one month after finishing the second edit I have finally sent my novel to my four trusted readers. What took so long?

Starting the Compilation

I wrote the book as individual chapters, each in their own Word document. So my first task was to compile them all into one document.  Earlier on in the Editing process I’d decided to file the individual Chapters into three Folders directly related to the three Acts. So I decided to start the compilation in the same way and combine all the Act 1 Chapters into one document first. Breaking it down into three smaller tasks was helpful as there are 50 chapters and 92,500 words in total, a lot to manage. 

Tips on Formatting the Text

I knew there were some formatting issues in the text, such as how to show, inner thoughts, texts, quotes from other people, quotes from films or books, labels, signs, looks etc and I did some research to get some guidance. This link provided a lot of help.  https://theeditorsblog.net/2014/05/12/marking-text-choosing-between-italics-and-quotation-marks/

I think it’s an American source but I’m assuming all the rules are the same throughout the publishing world apart from the question of which quotation marks to use for dialogue, double or single. The American preference seems to be double for “dialogue” and  either single ‘dialogue’ or double “dialogue’ for English. I’m told the trick is to choose one style and stick with to throughout your book. 

As I began my compilation I was on the lookout for these corrections. I knew that I’d gone over the top in my use of italics so I particularly looked for those but as I went through each chapter I noticed other issues.

Tips on the First Chapter

I had recently received some writing tips in an email from the organisation that I did my two creative writing courses with two years ago. Start your book with a bang! The first line should feature the protagonist, the setting and a dilemma. The first page should set the tone for the book. If it’s a comedy write something funny, if it’s a thriller write something funny….. on the first page.

My book is a Rom Com and there are plenty of funny moments throughout. It’s not witty dialogue, more funny situations and I did have one such situation in the first chapter but was the punchline on the first page? No. I also had some drama in the first chapter and various dramatic situations throughout the book, my recipe for my Rom Com is a mix of fun and drama, just like real life.

I spent some time playing with the words but could I get a great first line? No. I then spent a lot of time rearranging the action and being more concise but could I get the first funny situation on the first page? No. It was taking far too long so I settled for an Average first line and the first funny punchline on page two. Nevertheless it took a while to deal with Chapter 1.

Continuing the Compilation

Naively, I thought it would be easier and quicker from chapter two onwards but I was wrong. As I skimmed through the other chapters, looking for italics I spotted repetition, dull descriptions, continuity errors and some sections that were still at the ‘just get it down on the page’ stage. I couldn’t believe that I’d missed all these things on the previous two edits, three if you count the script version. Of course, once seen I had to attend to them so the progress of compilation was slow. 

Two weeks later, when I finally reached the end of Chapter 50, I felt worn out but had the bit between my teeth. So I went straight into compiling the three ACTs into one word document. I made a new folder called The Whole Book. I was finally starting to feel excited. I work with an online Word platform so I downloaded the word.docx version. All Ok. Then I tried to download a PDF version. It refused point blank. I wasted a few hours trying to make it work then gave up. Too big I guess.

So I had to concede that The Whole Book would be presented to my trusted readers in three parts. The next quandary was whether to start each Chapter on a new page, to make it look like a real book. In my first compilation I’d just separated each chapter with a little squiggle and a few lines. The reason I did this was because three of my readers had requested paper copies.The fourth friend had offered to print them out at work for me as a favour and I was worried about trying to keep the amount of paper she would use to a minimum. 

Formatting the Whole Novel

I’d been advised that Times New Roman size 12 font was the one to use and that agents would want the manuscript double spaced. In that format it was 311 pages long. When I changed the spacing to 1.5 it brought the number of pages down to 228. In this format it was still easy to read on the screen. I then remembered being told that in an actual book the type would be set at 1.15 spacing. When I did this version the pages came down to 177 but it was quite dense text on the screen and I found it hard to read.

I preferred the 1.5 spacing version. I spent some time going through this version and starting each new Chapter on a new page which, took the pages count up back up to 248. I decided to ring my friend and explain the predicament. She answered without  hesitation. “Don’t worry about it. Start each chapter on a new page. Not a problem!”

It looked more like a real book but there were some chapters where there were only three or four lines on the last page and it seemed like a waste of paper. In some of the chapters I was able to go back through and edit out one or two words here and there in the dialogue to shorten line lengths that had overrun onto the next line by a few characters. Sometimes I just had to leave it as it was for fear of making a mess of things and was left with a document of 243 pages.

Preparing the Book to be Printed

The software was happy enough to let me download PDF versions of the individual Acts, which were each under 100 pages and I sent my novel off to my friend in three separate parts by email. She managed to do the printing and return the copies to me by post within three days. I then posted them off to my friends. 

Wow! What a feeling, a mixture of excitement, nerves, relief and worry. I was no longer writing a book, I had written a book. I really had written a book and sent it out into the world on it’s own, albeit only to four close friends. For a brief moment it reminded me of when my children left home to go and and start their own independent lives.

Feeling a Fraud?

So now I sit and wonder what to do with myself. I have a pile of computer back ups, sewing, cooking and accounting to do. I feel strangely free but a little lonely and then there is something else, that nagging doubt, the thought that I could be unveiled as a fraud. Who did I think I was, that I could write a novel? I remembered that this had come up in one of my creative writing courses but I could’t remember what advice had been given.

I recently took part in an online webinar on the same subject. It had been advertised as an Accelerating Women in Business event and I’d signed up with another project in mind. I was surprised when the whole of the first session was about The Imposter Syndrome. The participants were from a variety of business areas, all new start ups and all women.

After the introductions the participants were asked if they ever had this feeling a lot said yes. It seems it’s a common problem for men as well as women and surprisingly, even for those who’ve had some success in their chosen field. 

I didn’t know what to say… “maybe” came to mind. I’d never used that phrase about myself but I had been tormented over the years by what one Executive had said to me in my first job after leaving university.

I worked for ICL as a Customer Support Advisor to a Salesman who was responsible for the sales to the Head Office of British Aerospace. As part of my induction into ICL I’d been enrolled on various training courses including COBOL programming and the brand new Word Processing computers, which it turned out still had a lot of bugs in the software. 

It was my job to go down to the Customers premises to instruct the staff on how to use the new Word Processors. I was full of enthusiasm for my job and for the product but there were so many bugs it was often the case that I was not being able to solve their problems on site. 

The Executive in question was very unhappy, having laid out an enormous amount of money for the new Word Processors and finally snapped. “You’re just an enthusiastic amateur aren’t you.” All of their problems were eventually solved by the IT department back at ICL ,who regularly issued new versions of software with fixes for the bugs, but that phrase has haunted me my whole life.

Practical Tips to Deal with The Imposter Syndrome

So what did the recent webinar suggest we could do about our feelings of self doubt? When in doubt, remember your past successes and current achievements. Develop a supportive network. Think of something you’ve achieved recently that you’re proud of and talk about how this made you feel and the steps you took to make this happen. Own your successes and accept compliments. 

Understand your strengths and weaknesses by doing a SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats). List eight qualities, talents, aptitudes, abilities, strengths and resources that you feel you have. Select one that makes you unique, gives you confidence. Think of how your friends and colleagues would describe you and pin down what motivates you.

The thing I remember most from the webinar are the examples of successful people who still feel the imposter syndrome when starting a new project or branching out into a new field. Apparently Albert Einstein, Beyonce and Sheryl Sandberg,COO of Facebook, suffer from this too. The trick is to go through the practical tips above replacing any negative thoughts with positive ones. After all we are what we eat and we are what we think.  

The End of the Second Edit

Hurray! I have finally reached the end of the second edit of my novel. At the start I had 80,000 words and 39 chapters, now I have 92,000 words and 50 chapters. I realised as I went through that I still had many sections that were just the bare bones of the plot which have now been fleshed out. After reaching those critical words, THE END, I went out for a walk. I felt a bounce in my step, I felt as if I had finally written a book. It felt good.

It’s taken nearly two years and a huge amount of hours, while simultaneously dealing with a lot of real world events. I hope the next book, if there is one, won’t take as long. The next stage is to send it out to some trusted readers. I have four good friends lined up. Three to read it as consumers and one who says he’ll proof read and make plot/character suggestions. He recently wrote and self-published a book so it will be natural for him to be in that role. I have managed to do a lot of proof reading corrections along the way but I’m sure there could be some that I missed. 

Hiring a Professional Editor

I also realise that having a professional third party analysis at this stage would be a good thing. I thought I should prepare myself, so I took a deep breath and researched how much it might cost to hire someone to do this. I receive regular emails from ‘Writers & Artists’ and this week’s email featured their Manuscript Editing Services. This is what it said:

“The Full Manuscript Review editing service provides a straightforward report on your manuscript, offering a full read-through from an editor who will objectively assess your use of dialogue, structure, style, pace, plot and characterisation. After receiving your report, you will then have the opportunity to speak to your editor in a 30-minute phone call. 

As well as discussing your manuscript further, your editor will also offer suggestions on reasonable next steps for your manuscript. Do you need to re-work sections in order to move forward? Is it ready for the consideration of literary agents? This service has been designed to ask you to consider its overall shape and structure at a key stage in the writing process. Just how ready is your book?”

I thought it sounded pretty impressive but what is the cost?

For 60,000-79,999 words, £600

For 80,000-99,999 words, £750

For 100,000-120,000 words, £900

For more than 120,000 words there’s an extra charge of £12 per 1,000 words.

The Final Polish

They also offer a Final Polish Service editing service. “This service has been devised for writers wanting to ensure their manuscript is as good as it can possibly be before looking to approach literary agents or self-publish. 

One of their experienced editors will read your manuscript in its entirety, line-by-line edit 50% of the text (addressing punctuation, grammar, spelling, as well as highlighting errors and/or inconsistencies in a detailed mark up on your original manuscript, offer 1-2 pages of notes alongside two revised/clean versions of your manuscript, purged of errors and inconsistencies. They will then become available for a 30-minute follow-up call in which additional guidance on overall structure and how to maintain consistency will be discussed.

The purpose of this service is to concentrate on addressing punctuation, grammar, spelling, and highlight errors and/or inconsistencies. This is known as copy-editing; a line-by-line approach that is a time-consuming process. The editor only edits 50% of the manuscript  because the vast majority of errors and/or inconsistencies made within a manuscript are often made within the first half and continue to be made throughout. When the editor submits their edited documents, you will be asked to arrange a date and time for your 30-minute call, using the editor’s availability calendar, which must take place within two weeks of your edits being uploaded.”

Adding The Final Polish more or less doubles the cost. After payment, you need to submit your full manuscript, taking into account the word limit you selected upon purchase. In the case of fiction or narrative non-fiction (such as memoir or biography). Your manuscript needs to be submitted with a one-page Synopsis.

The Synopsis

This is what they ask for. A Synopsis should: 

  • Be no more than one A4 side. 12pt font size and leave margins at the edge of the page.
  • Comprise the complete summary of the plot and give an overview of the structure. Concentrate on the plot-points that drive the main protagonist(s) through the book, including the ending, don’t worry about spoilers!
  • Introduce your main characters, with the first mention of their name in CAPITALS.
  • Be easy to follow, written in the same order as the narrative unfolds. Only refer to the essentials of the manuscript (do not including every single scene) and pinpoint scenes in which you have the maximum amount of dramatic tension. 
  • It should not offer intrigue, be written as a piece of prose or contain stylish writing. It demands a different type of writing, it’s only required to be a technical document for reference, use simple sentences and allow the story and character arcs to do the talking for you.

 This is the link I followed to obtain the above information.

https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/editing-services/full-manuscript-review

General advice for the Synopsis seems to be “make sure you write in the third person, present tense, using simple, declarative sentences.” This reminds me of how I used to write Treatments for TV programmes for submitting to Commissioning editors. It’s not a natural way of writing. To make it easier I imagined I was writing an Audio Description of what was happening on the screen. 

I did a quick Google search of other professional editing services and the rates are more or less the same as the quoted above but that doesn’t alter the fact that it’s too much for me right now. I’ll just hope that the trusted readers will provide some similar feedback for free.

The Log Line

Other sources suggest that it’s also a good idea to start your Synopsis with a one line summary that says clearly and simply what your novel is about i.e. present your main character(s) and setting then state their central conflict. It’s sometimes referred to as a Log Line.

One example is from Abi Dare’s Bath Novel Award 2018 winning manuscript The Girl with the Louding Voice:  14-year-old Lagos housemaid refuses to accept her fate – she wants an education and to get a ‘louding voice’.

It almost reads like a Headline in a news paper. As a consumer, I’m used to reading Log Lines in TV guides as a summary of television programmes and films but when it comes to writing one for my book it’s proving hard. It’s too easy to make it very dry and flat when you really want an emotional hook to stimulate interest.

Moving to the Next Stage

A few months ago I had the chance to submit the first three chapters of my novel to a Literary Agent. She also asked for a Synopsis and I introduced my submission with a Covering Letter. The agent was very encouraging but said she wasn’t taking any more submissions during the summer holidays. My next move will I be to contact her and ask if she would consider reading the whole manuscript now. If she insists on it being read by a professional editor first I’ll ask if she can recommend one. 

I’m still in contact with some of the writers who were on the same of CBC writing courses as me a year or so ago. It’s interesting to see their progress. One person has just finished their fourth draft and is sending her manuscript to agents, another one is starting her second draft. I’m finding it very helpful to stay in touch for many reasons: they offer support and encouragement when the going gets tough; you can see their own timelines and realise that your own progress is not so unusual and they share facts that they discover about the publishing world. 

I hope the information here has been helpful and good luck with your own writing project. One of the writers from my courses suggested that I should suggest a month for my trusted readers to get back to me, so I hope that I’ll be able to write about their reactions in my next blog. It’s a slightly scary prospect but very necessary. Fingers crossed they like it.

Jump-starting the Second Edit

Yesterday, while browsing in the local market, I stopped to talk to a man who was selling a self-published autobiography. Adopted as a baby, he spent his whole life wondering why his mother gave him away. His book tells how he set about finding his birth mother and birth father. He said when he finished the first draft it was 120,000 words. As someone with no previous writing experience he decided to pay for a professional Book Editor to cast their eyes over it. They suggested improvements in the grammar and structure but mostly said ‘lose that’, ‘shorten this’ and ‘do you really want to tell the world about that?’

Could I Edit My Own Book?

I volunteered the information that I had also written a book with a similar theme. His first question was how many words is it? I answered about 80,000, which had been suggested in a writing course as a good length for a first novel. I added that I was now on the second edit and his next question took me by surprise. “So do you think you can edit your own book?” I said, “Yes”. I had a career in TV production where after writing treatments, scripts, and voice overs I would always be required to edit the text and then edit the final programme. Usually the editing was about timings, to get the items to the required length for the programme but sometimes it was because the subject matter needed tweaking to fit the overall theme of the series, or once because when the Commissioning Editor watched the final edit they said, that’s not the programme I thought I was going to get!

I enjoyed sitting next to the Video Editor in the edit suite. I liked the banter, the exchange of creative ideas, usually about where one snippet stopped and another began but often about whether a particular section was needed at all. As a Director who had written the script, filmed it, then made a paper edit to give to the Video Editor I always made sure that the paper edit selection was long. The Video Editor would then put the first assembly together using the main spoken content, which was made up of interviews and Presenter pieces-to-camera with gaps for voice-overs to join it all together. When I went in to view I would usually watch this first assembly coming in at about 40 minutes. Then together with the Video Editor we would bring it down to about 35 minutes, before letting the Producer have a look. Once the Producer had given their opinions on what was worth keeping, shortening or chucking out the Video Editor and I would go through and bring it down to length, 30 mins.

As the Director, I often had battles with the angels on my shoulders. Faced with shortening an interview one would say, “Oh, but I really liked that person, it took so long to get them to agree to be interviewed and I thought what they said was really valid.” The other angel would say, “Yes, but their delivery is long-winded and dull, their eyes and attention wander and if we cut it to a shorter length we don’t have any relevant cutaway shots, so we’ll have to cover the edits with Presenter noddies and we always try to avoid that, don’t we.”

I’d often have to agree and think of other ways of making the same point. Did one of the other interviewees say more or less the same thing in a more concise/enthusiastic way? Do we need it at all? Does the piece stand up without this interview? If we lose it we’ll be short on time but we could put in a Presenter voice-over as a summary to emphasise the same point. The joy of a voice-over is that you can always write it to length and generally make a point much quicker than a real live person can.

So, when the man in the market asked if I thought I could edit my own book I said, “Yes”, but after thinking about it for a few days I had to change my mind. Yes, as the writer/creator, I could edit to a certain degree. Had I told the story I wanted to? Did my characters come across on the page? Was the writing style easy to read or clumsy and dull in places? Could I have used more relevant adjectives? Had I made it funny/sad enough? What I couldn’t do so easily was let go of my favourite bits, the atmospheric moments in between the action, the scenes where I set things up for something to happen later on. The padding. “Oh, but I really like that bit!” “I spent ages working out where to put that bit!” We’re all familiar with ‘The Director’s Cut’ of a feature film being too long.

Where Could I Get Some Guidance?

With these thoughts in mind I started looking around for more tips about the editing process and came across a blog by a writer called Roly Allen that recommended a book by Joe Moran called ‘First You Write a Sentence‘. I’ve paraphrased some of the advice: ‘If writing… is soggy and flat… insert dynamic, transitive verbs; shift out of the passive voice and into the active and follow a long sentence with a short one….’ I looked for definitions.

A Transitive verb needs to transfer its action to something or someone… the object…. to affect something else.’ e.g.

Peter conveyed the message. (4 words)
Sally threw the stone. (4 words)
The dog chased the ball. (4 words)

A sentence written in Active voice, when the subject of the sentence is performing the action, is concise, direct and strong, as above.

A sentence written in Passive voice, when the subject of the sentence has something done to it by someone or something, is often wordy and clunky, as below:

The message was conveyed by Peter. (6 words)
The stone was thrown by Sally. (6 words)
The ball was chased by the dog. (7 words)

It seems like good advice but I think we naturally tend to write in the ‘Active voice’ using ‘Transitive’ verbs, as doing the opposite sounds like you’re writing a police statement. I was never one for studying and analysing English grammar but I did manage a grade C at O level. I never thought about it after that until a friend suggested I do a TEFL course to widen my job prospects in my forties. Three hundred pounds down and three months later I emerged from the self-enforced confinement of my room. My poor, shocked housemate flung their arms around me. “Are you OK? I thought you’d lost the plot. All that shouting, swearing and thumping!” I never did pursue the TEFL route.

Other Self-Help Titles

Anyway, back to Roly Allen who goes on to say, “Curious as to what else was out there, I then picked up Steven Pinker’s ‘The Sense of Style’ and realised that I could structure my arguments a lot better. I moved on to William Zinsser’s ‘On Writing Well’ and discovered a bunch of tricks to make my paragraphs punchier. John Yorke’s ‘Into the Woods’ showed me why my narratives had failed to captivate. Roy Peter Clark and George Saunders revealed aspects of the craft of literature that I’d never thought about in three years of study. I applied their ideas and techniques to the raw material of my chapters; cutting, editing, switching, replacing. It was easily the most fun I’ve ever had at a keyboard. And with that revision – and no doubt, a sigh of relief – my agent placed my ‘big book’ – not for huge money, but with a brilliant house, and exactly the right editor.”

Roly’s advice was to, “….swallow your pride, forget all of the times people told you that you ‘write really well’, and pick up some of the books above.”

Getting On With It

Many thanks are due to Roly for his recommendations and I will give one or two of them a look but I’m always a little wary of self-help manuals. They remind me of when I signed up for a series of creative writing courses in my twenties. I thoroughly enjoyed the small groups, the exercises and the creative banter but when I turned up for the last one the tutor caught me off-guard. “I hope you’re intending to be a professional writer and not just a habitual course member…” Ouch!

And with that thought in my head I’m going back to my second edit. In my last blog I described how I’d been stuck after an agent said I should tone down one of my main character’s actions. Doing this would have a knock-on effect through the book and go against one of my reasons for writing it in the first place. After a few weeks of doing other things, like making jam, going body boarding and visiting friends, I managed to let go of my resistance and take her advice. I’d been worried I would be giving my baby away but now I realise that I was being too precious about my original plan. It is after all a novel, not real life, and the main objective is that it should be an entertaining read. Now, where was I…… Chapter 20, OK, here we go……

Tackling the Second Edit

19th August 2021

So there I was with some great advice from a Literary Agent and a Screenwriting Webinar and could I get started on the second edit? No. I did spend a lot of time weeding, picking and pruning on the allotment, mending the clothes in the sewing pile, entertaining two lots of visitors and making stock for my market stall.

A Change of Scenery

Three weeks went by and then a magical thing happened. I was asked to do some last minute house and cat sitting while some friends went on holiday. They lived a two hour drive away from my home, far enough not to be able to nip back to do any essential chores, and within twenty four hours I was second editing my novel.

The cat was very helpful. I only had to renew his food and water every morning and then he was off out for most of the day, sleeping in the bedrooms late afternoon and out all night. Perfect! So with no distractions off I went. I must admit to being quite nervous about the process, having never been in this situation before.  

Fixing Problems

The first four chapters took a long time to get under control because I had entered two competitions the previous month and both had asked for the first 3000 words. I had thought it was a clever strategy to offer each of them a different set of 3000 words from the first 5000, one showing my more humorous chapters and the other showing my more dramatic scenes.

This cleverness did not lead to me being selected for a long, medium, short or any length list but it did lead to a lot of confusion when I tried to put the first five chapters back together. I had made improvements in the text and in the order of the scenes as well as in the composition of the chapters in each of the competition submissions. It was mind boggling trying to put them back together into one story. Won’t do that again.

Basic Improvements

So, after spending a very long time sorting out that mess what did I find myself doing in the following chapters in this second edit? I replaced a surprising number of lazy verbs and repetitive adjectives. It was embarrassing how many times my characters went to “get” something or had to “go” somewhere. It was disconcerting how often my characters were “worried” or “happy” or “early” or “late”. It was awkward, distressing, uncomfortable, mortifying and shameful how often I still came across “he said, absentmindedly” or “she said excitedly” when it was painfully obvious who was talking and how from the dialogue itself.

And yes, you’ve guessed, I finally got the huge thesaurus off the shelf I’d bought on a whim, sorry, I finally retrieved the sizeable thesaurus from the spot it had occupied on the top shelf since I’d bought it in a credit card frenzy two years earlier. Sometimes it helped sometimes it didn’t.

I’d like to find a thesaurus that suggests long forgotten phrases, such as the one I heard recently in a documentary about a music club in the 1950’s and 60’s. The wife of the club owner described a particularly difficult decision as a “two straw moment.” After a few minutes I had to stop the film and rewind it to double check that I’d heard correctly. Yes, that’s what she said. I thought she must be referring to the predicament of two people in a difficult situation, who resort to holding two straws of different lengths in one hand, hidden from view. The person who picks the short straw loses and has to do the difficult thing. I’ve already got a character in mind in my book who can use the “two straw moment” phrase.  What a brilliantly efficient use of words.

Continuity

A lot of this second edit is taken up with finally filling in the missing continuity gaps. This is taking up quite a lot of time. Having to double check whether a character has previously talked about another character’s background or not requires reading several chapters again as skimming through them doesn’t help. Checking dates, names and ages requires re-reading the notes in the plan, which also takes a lot of time as the notes were jotted down in a haphazard way as I went along. Will try to be more organised next time.

The best part of this second edit process is that I’m actually enjoying reading the book again, almost as much as when I first wrote it. With no distractions I can get through two or three chapters a day, so it’s much quicker than the first edit, which took months and turned into a real chore. I’m quite hopeful that this novel will become one of my ‘desert island discs’, one I will never tire of reading, in the same way that I have a box of films I‘ll happily watch over and over again. I have noticed that my favourite films were often based on a book and have a very complete feeling about them. Now I can see why.

One good thing about this process is that I’m able to double check that my heroine is being heroic enough. In my attempt to write humorous scenes I’ve come across one so far where I’ve turned my heroine into a clumsy fool, just for a laugh, because I’m writing a Rom Com. These comic moments are based on true life experiences, either with me as the fool or as an observer. The good thing about leaving gaps in the editing process is that I’m coming across other people with humorous tales to tell in similar scenarios and I’ve been able to re-jig my existing scene using the new ideas. So I’ve turned my heroine’s first clumsy fool episode into a very similar one where someone else is being the clumsy fool and my heroine is saving the day. I’m very glad I was able to do that.

Resisting Change

I had been feeling good about this second edit so far but as I reached Chapter 14 I started to slow down. I didn’t know why. I left it a few days, then I realised. I’m approaching the point in the story where I’ve been advised to make a major change. I can feel my hooves digging into the ground, here comes my Taurean resistance. The major change relates to the reason that my hero is on his journey at all, the reason I wanted to write the book. It’s important to me. If I change it I’m worried it won’t be my story any more.

So here’s the thing. I started writing the story as I had some time on my hands and the ideas had been floating around my mind for years. I wanting to give two sad family stories positive outcomes, in fiction at least. I’ve invested almost two years into writing this book. The problem is that I also wanted to make it entertaining, a mixture of tears and laughter, just like real life. So when asked to describe the genre I’ve said it’s a Rom Com. Here lies the problem.

Restrictions of the Genre

Once on a creative writing course and more recently by an agent, I’d been told that the big problem that my hero has to admit to and overcome is too serious and heavy for a Rom Com, that I should lighten it to a more forgivable sin. Maybe I could have resisted the urge to make the story entertaining and made it a Thriller instead. Maybe I should have written two separate books. If I could wind back time with this knowledge maybe I would have, but time is not on my side. So what do I do?

‘Should Have, Could Have and Would Have’….. that could be the title that I’m looking for…. hmmm, good idea….

So, I could keep this Second Edit with my original story as it is and start a new folder called Second Edit with Major Motive Change. Changing the hero’s motive will change the admissions he makes, the reactions and comments he gets, the actions that follow and the way the other characters respond to them from now, Chapter 14, until the end, Chapter 40. That’s a lot of alterations.

I’m still not sure. The advice I’ve received is from professionals who are in the business of selling books with easy to understand labels. Then again, they also say that you should write for yourself, for your own pleasure and satisfaction. The lure of potentially becoming a published author with a new way of earning a living in my twilight years is strong, but I started out writing it for myself. What would you do? What will I do? I’ll let you know in my next blog.

How Professional Advice and Feedback can Inspire You to Carry on Editing.

18th July 2021

This month I’ve been lucky to spend some time with a Literary Agent and take part in a one day webinar on ‘How to Write an Attention Grabbing Final Act’ as part of the London Screenwriters’ Festival. It was good timing, as my inspiration to carry on working on my Rom Com novel had taken a dip after I didn’t get through the first round of the two competitions I entered in June.

The Second Edit

This was the first time I’d entered any competitions and in the run up to the deadlines I’d been excited and motivated. After submitting the extracts from my novel I relaxed and turned my attention to various household and garden chores. When, at the end of June, I realised my submissions were not going to be taken any further I was slightly relieved. I knew the manuscript could be in better shape, but didn’t know quite what to do about it.

The thought of starting at the beginning of a second edit and going all the way through to the end again was suddenly feeling daunting. I was also at a loss to know how to improve the story. Then I had a last minute email about the webinar and it felt like a lifeline. I knew the end of the book was still quite weak, there wasn’t enough drama and even though the two main characters finally professed their love it wasn’t very satisfying.

How to Improve the Final Act

The webinar, as part of the London Screenwriters’ Festival, was focussed on screenplays, but it was obvious from the start that the suggestions and guidelines were just as relevant for a novel. The main point was to treat your final act as if it were a short film, to the point where it could be a self-contained story and a mini-me version of the story as a whole. I had never heard this suggestion before and it sounded like a good idea.

You had to make sure the main character’s goal was still obvious, there had to be hurdles in pursuit of this goal, the character had to find ways to overcome these obstacles to get to the resolution in the plot and there had to be some sort of conclusion. It seemed obvious, after all, this is what you were supposed to be doing, as a writer, from the word go. The trick was to apply it to the Final Act as well.

Creating more Drama

As part of the webinar, we were shown various film clips that illustrated the things we were aiming to do in our own story but at first I couldn’t see how they could help me make my final scene more dramatic. The clips were mostly from action movies where there were plenty of opportunities for chases, showdowns and battles with the hero being victorious. So I asked how I could make a Rom Com more dramatic when the final achievement was for each character to say “I love you.”

I was asked to think of how other Rom Com films and novels had dealt with the same challenge. I thought of the many scenes where one person is catching a plane, train or bus to leave for ever and the other character realises they‘ve been a complete idiot to let the love of their life get away. So they then proceed to hail a taxi that gets stuck in traffic, so they get out and run, while friends rally round to stop the police, other suitors and baddies in their tracks to give the hero time to get to the airport, train or bus station.

I must admit that, having seen so many variations, I get slightly disappointed when I see these endings coming. My Rom Com is set in the everyday life of single parents with kids, where the drama revolves around forgetting to put the packed lunches in the school rucksacks.

Would I really have to re-write the end, and maybe the whole book, so that the two characters were passing each other on two boats, going in different directions on a river, with waterfalls one way and a log jam the other way? Their cries of “I love you” being drowned out by the churning water, and whining engines? Their boats overturning and each one being rescued by do-gooders who take them to opposite sides of the river, almost too far for them to hear what the other is saying until, of course, they do? No. Of course not.

How to Increase the Emotional Response

The webinar tutor asked a great question. What is it that moves me when I read or watch similar Rom Com stories? What is it that makes me perch on the edge of my seat, bite my nails, eat lots of chocolate and cry out with frustration or joy? Maybe the action, but always the emotion and even more than that, the reactions of the characters themselves.

I know that in my own life, just like the damn viruses, emotions are catching. Jumping up and down with excitement when you receive good news makes the people around you excited too. One person being grumpy, happy, angry or relieved can change the mood of a whole room so that the people around them feel down or elated, scared or exhausted.

How could this be applied to the final moments of my Rom Com to make it more dramatic? Give the “I love you” moment an audience on the screen or in the book. Let the characters declare their mutual love in a crowded shop, from the stage of the local pub’s Karaoke night, by turning up at the other one’s workplace or with a plane towing a banner in the sky at an event. The reactions of the audience in the plot will be catching and inspire your readers/viewers to feel the same emotions at a higher level of intensity.

I finished the webinar with a new enthusiasm for the next part of my writing experience, the second edit, but starting with the Final Act. Once that was fine tuned and ramped up a gear then it would be easier to go back to the start and make sure everything that was in the book was leading up to that final culmination in a precise and targeted way. Simple. Just got to write it.

Meeting with a Literary Agent

I was also lucky enough to get a short online consultation with a Literary Agent, the first time this had happened for my novel. She had similar submission requirements to the previous competitions so I didn’t have to do any extra work on the Synopsis and the first three chapters but I did have to draft a letter. Luckily, I had taken some creative writing courses two years ago, where one of the tasks was to learn how to craft a good letter for approaching an Agent.

The format was basically three paragraphs, the first summarising the story, the second explaining why you had chosen this particular agent and the third a brief biog of your own background. The trial letter I dug out from my course notes was uninspiring so I started from scratch. After about two hours I was pleased with the result and sent it all off.

As the day of the online consultation approached I was quite nervous. I knew that first impressions would be important so I tried to look smart and made an effort to tidy up the background in my office. I re-read my submission and remembered the instructions of the organisers, that I should basically listen to what the agent had to say and take notes.

Technical problems

The organisers had been very thorough in doing technical checks beforehand to ensure my wi-fi signal and equipment would be up to the job but then fate decided to be difficult. The night before the online meeting a construction worker a few roads away cut right through the broadband cables and took out half of the town. The service provider sent apologies and estimated repair times at regular intervals by text but as the time for the session got closer it was still not working.

Luckily, I had learned how to use my mobile as an internet hotspot router and with seconds to spare I managed to log in to the online meeting. In a slightly flustered state I found myself saying hello to a very friendly lady who asked me what I wanted to hear from her. Ahhhhh, ummmm, I hadn’t prepared for that! I heard myself say “Well, I was hoping this was the sort of story you might be looking for,” and off she went.

New Ideas and Motivation

She liked what I had sent her. Some suggestions for improvement were: a better title (of course, it was only my second attempt); some tightening up (of course, even I knew my writing was too wordy in places) and a start that had a bit of a bang to it instead of just stepping into a world where everyday things were happening (of course, I had written two other opening scenes I could use but hadn’t been sure which order to put them in).

It only lasted fifteen minutes but it lifted my spirits enough for me to want to get straight on with the second edit. Now that I’ve had some professional feedback about the end and the beginning I hope that what I need to do to improve the middle will become obvious to me. I have a new deadline to work to, as the Agent said she was currently closed to submissions but would be ready to receive them come September and I’m itching to get started on that second edit. Great!

When to Show Your Story to Strangers

20th June 2021

After finishing the first edit of my Rom Com novel I felt a great urge to send it out to the two trusted readers that I had lined up. I went back to the start intending to read it through in one go myself, to get up the courage to send it out for some independent feedback. Instantly, I realised that the title, the first line and the first chapter all needed improvement.

The Title

During my first attempt to come up with a title I’d asked a couple of friends for help. Off we went at full pelt for a hilarious, sometimes tortuous half hour and came up with twenty suggestions. When I looked back at the suggestions the next day the best five were already taken and the rest were really not what the book was about at all. I had to have something as a working title so I stuck in a pin and went with that.  

This time I brainstormed titles on my own and actually came up with one that I thought was quite good within five minutes. Having finished the first edit may have made it easier. I knew what the book was about. I said it out loud a few times, as if it was being reviewed on a book programme. It was much better than the original working title but maybe still not quite right?

I googled ‘book titles’ and found a site on this very subject. It reminded me that the brilliant ‘Pride & Prejudice’ was originally called ‘First Impressions’; F. Scott Fitzgerald struggled between ‘On the Road to West Egg’ and ‘Under the Red, White and Blue’ among many other titles, before settling on ‘The Great Gatsby.’ ‘All’s Well That Ends Well’ was the working title for ‘War & Peace’ and ‘The Undead’ became ‘Dracula’; So it seemed that the main issue or the main character’s name would be a good place to start. I looked at mine. Still room for improvement.

The First Line

I’m not sure if it qualifies as a first line or would better be called a subtitle but I’ve always been impressed by the start of Jane Austen’s ‘Pride & Prejudice’ – “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. Brilliant! Surely I could come up with something similar? After all, I now knew what my book was about.

Two hours later I was still at it. Why was it so hard? I knew it had to grab the reader’s attention, it had to hook them and reel them in. Still nothing. I gave up and read through the first three chapters. Not bad. A bit of drama, a bit of humour, a warm fuzzy introduction to the main characters. I liked it but it wasn’t what I would call gripping.

Re-versioning Information Dumps

Then I had a shock, where was chapter four? There was a title then a lot of blank space. I looked at my edit notes, for which I’d never been more grateful. “Take the info dump out of chapter three and write it as a separate chapter.” Oh yes, now I remember, I was going to do that. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

One of the points I remembered from my writing course the previous year was to try to minimise or eliminate information dumps. I found quite a few while doing my first edit. Some were back stories to remind me of why my characters were reacting in a certain way and others were when I had obviously just run out of steam.

My edit notes said “Write It!” So I thought I’d better have a go. An hour later I had a version that was composed of dialogue and action. But it was very short. Not worthy of being called a chapter, more of a scene. I was trying to show how the two main characters had met. I remembered another piece of advice about information dumps –  that they interrupted the flow of the book. It wasn’t a very inspiring scene so I wondered how else I could get the information into the story.

I read the next chapter. It featured the two main characters talking over coffee and as I read it I had a light bulb moment. In real life, in the middle of a conversation, one or both of the main characters would remember how they had met as they listened to the other one speaking. Thinking about the initial attraction, eyes meeting across a crowded room, would intensify the attraction of the present moment. I wrote it. It worked a treat. Was it enough? Yes. So the missing chapter bit the dust.

The First Chapter

I felt pleased with myself but still couldn’t avoid the fact that I had a warm fuzzy start to my book. I went and made a cup tea, pulled out a few weeds in the garden while the kettle was boiling, stroked the cat and went back to the book. Right, I’ll start again, as a reader, from the beginning. Chapter one was OK, a bit of a crisis made bearable by the help of a good friend. Then as I read chapter two I realised that the middle section contained a very important flashback.

As I write I always picture my story on the big silver screen and as a viewer I don’t mind flashbacks at all. Their usual purpose is to explain why someone is acting in a certain way in the present. Hold on, that sounds very similar to an information dump… what if….. what if I cut out the flashback and make it a chapter all of it’s own? Where would it go? Before? After? Oh my goodness, what if it went at the beginning? It was a very dramatic scene after all.

I began to get excited. I carefully extracted the flashback and labelled it Chapter 1a. I read it through. It certainly was a more gripping start but how would I tell the reader that the next chapter was three years later? How would they do it in a film? With a ‘Three years later’ subtitle of course. I could see it on the screen in my mind. Yep, that works for me. So, it went in as a subtitle under the newly labelled Chapter 1b.

The new dramatic start created a momentum that made me eager to read the next three chapters, which now seemed to flow with an energy all of their own. It was great. I stopped reading after chapter four and reflected on my achievement. Who would have known a little shifting around would do such wonders? I decided to have a break.  

Competitions

As part of my research into the world of publishing I come across events and competitions and put them in a monthly newsletter for other new writers. In my last newsletter I featured the annual ‘Comedy Women in Print’ Awards and the ‘Bath Novel Awards’ for new writers, both with entry deadlines at the end of May.  

I had never entered any awards myself but I knew that several of the new writers in my FaceBook group had. They’d written posts about the difficulty of building up the confidence to enter, then the nail-biting wait to know the result. These two awards were asking for 5000 words and a synopsis. I realised that I was finally at a position where I could enter my own novel. I did a word count and found that my first three chapters came to near enough 5000 words. The excitement was building.

The Synopsis

Then I looked at the Synopsis I’d written on a writing course the previous year. Oh dear! It was awful! It didn’t say much about the story and revealed nothing about the emotions, the drama or the humour of my novel.

I felt embarrassed, but at a loss to know how to make it better without making it longer. The limit was ‘a one page synopsis’ for both competitions so I started from scratch. I worked on it for several days and slowly created a better version but it was still lacking something.

I dredged my memory of my work in TV production for help. During the development of programme ideas we were often required to write a ‘Treatment’ to submit to Commissioning Editors. This was a summary of what the finished programme would be like to watch, if it ever got made. It was always difficult to do. They often used to end up being a summary of the main idea, the contributors, bits of research and a few quotes.

One day I met an experienced producer who gave me a great tip – write it in the present tense as if you’re writing an audio commentary for viewers with limited vision. This approach meant you literally had to describe the atmosphere, the tension and the action. I was working on factual programmes back then but I thought this approach might work better for drama. I made a new document and wrote the Synopsis again. It was a bit clunky, but overall much better and the best part was I’d finished it in time to meet the submission deadline.

Submission

So here I am, for the first time, waiting for the first reactions to my novel from total strangers. All the other new writers were right. It is nerve racking. Mercifully, both the CWIP and the Bath Novel Awards only take a month to move on to the next stage. If the professional readers want to know what happens next an email will arrive at the end of June asking for the whole manuscript.

Yikes! I can’t imagine I would be on that ‘Long List’ at this stage but what if I did get asked to send the whole thing? Is it ready? I don’t know. I made another folder called 2nd edit with the new title. That felt good. So, as I crack on with the second edit or ‘panic edit’ as another writer called it, I realised that these competitions are good for one thing even if you don’t get through. Motivation!   

Apology – I’m sorry for the WP ads that come up at the bottom of the blog posts, only a temporary inconvenience until I can afford to pay for the WP site again. KB.